Helping Kids Behave Well

Sometimes, the biggest challenge in working with young people is keeping them on their best behavior. Behavior guidance involves much more than discipline, though, so it’s important to approach the topic from a variety of angles.

Think beyond today

Gabriela Baeza of the San Diego County Office of Education, Safe Schools Unit, works with kids at risk for gangs. She recommends helping youth “think about the consequences of their decisions. They need to start thinking beyond today, since most youth tend to live in the moment. They should be asking themselves, ‘How will this decision affect my life in five years?’”

According to Baeza, it is also important to help youth find their interests and set goals. Most youth don’t know what they’re interested in yet or simply haven’t been asked. With clear interests and goals in mind, they will start thinking about how their decisions could change their life or jeopardize their goals.

Catch kids being good

Dave Bacon, Director of Play Leadership for the City of Redondo Beach, suggests recognizing kids for being good and praising them for it. He notes, “Behavior guidance is not just keeping order; it is a part of youth development.”

Bacon trains his staff to “be sure there are clear, concise choices and consequences for young people’s actions, that have been established ahead of time. Empower the kids by allowing them to create these rules.”

It is important for frontline staff to be firm at first and then become more flexible after they’ve established their authority. Bacon shares a favorite analogy about working with kids: “Kids are like a wet bar of soap; if you hold them too tightly, you’ll lose them, but if you hold them too loosely, you’ll also lose them.” Working with kids is all about finding that balance.

Take a deep breath

Helping students work through a conflict can be stressful. Anne Read Smith, of Middendorf Breath Institute in Berkeley, offers some insight about a technique students can use to resolve conflict. “If you allow your natural breath to come and go on its own, it becomes a healing force in your body. We tend not to fully inhale and exhale, especially when faced with conflict,” Smith says. “Learn how to trust your breath, and it will help you communicate more effectively with others through both listening and speaking.”