Countering the Female Bully

Many people associate bullying with acts of physical aggression or intimidation typically attributed to boys. In her book, Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, Rachel Simmons documents what many who experienced childhood bullying know too well — girls can be bullies too.

Given fewer socially acceptable ways to express their frustrations or anger, many girls develop what Simmons calls “a hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression.” Also known as relational aggression, this behavior uses social relationships as the primary vehicle for harming others.

Typical examples of relational aggression include purposefully ignoring or isolating a peer, passing notes, gossiping, glaring, starting rumors, ganging-up and being nice in private but mean in public. Too often, parents and teachers dismiss this behavior as “just a phase” or part of growing up.

Relational aggression is less visible than physical bullying, but the psychological effects are no less devastating. The first step for program staff and administrators is to learn to identify relational aggression and recognize it for the bully-behavior it is.

For more information, visit the Ophelia Project: www.opheliaproject.org